Have no enmity toward others, whether or not they consider you their enemy.
The Srimad Bhagavatam is an ancient yogic text in which the main character learns he is going to die in a few days. He speaks with his sage, his teacher, who prepares him for the end of his current life by teaching many ancient yogic concepts. One that stands out for me comes when the sage explains the behavior of yogis.
In all honesty, when you’re training to become a yogi, you may as well be training to become a saint. We are retraining the intelligence to act counter to how most people would. Think of any saint off the top of your head: they were incredibly selfless, patient, forgiving, generous, present and compassionate. These are all the things we are trying to cultivate through yoga practice.
The enemy box
So the sage says that the yogi has no enemies. The yogi holds no enmity toward anyone, even if someone else considers the yogi their enemy, hates the yogi, or has been really upset by the yogi. To the yogi, that person is still not an enemy.
This is worth thinking about often, as an experiment. On a daily basis, we may be accidentally stuffing people into the enemy box. Someone doesn’t serve your coffee at the right time or in the right way: enemy box. Your significant other does something irritating, the drivers in front of you aren’t going fast enough, your coworker is giving you a hard time, you feel underappreciated. The list goes on and on. We decide that this person is not our friend but our enemy, and then we treat them as such.
The idea that the yogi has no enemies doesn’t mean everyone is going to look at you like a saint. It has a lot to do with the inner experience of how we move through the world.
Don’t give away your bliss
The point of yoga practice is to master the fluctuations of the mind, so that the seer can rest in its true nature, its splendor. There is an inner beauty, an inner bliss, that we’re trying to get closer to. But the mind, the ego, the culture and society create obstacles where we get stuck, where we make excuses not to feel peace, where we don’t give ourselves permission to feel the bliss that’s inside. Because, I’ve got to deal with my enemies!
We ruminate over our enemies; we meditate upon them. And while we’re doing this, it isn’t making us more peaceful or blissful, is it? Generally, burning up inside like that feels pretty bad, and it pulls us away from our intention to connect with the inner self and calm the mind.
This is not ignoring poor behavior. Don’t get me wrong. It is changing our perspective so we can deal with things more peacefully. There is a saying: anger is like holding a hot stone to throw at someone, but all I do is burn my own hand. We can do the same task angry or peaceful, full of compassion or forgiveness, and the quality of our life changes.
One hour at a time
So all it takes is deciding one day: I have no enemies. It’s going to be a practice, not a perfect. Maybe for the next hour you won’t collect any new enemies. Maybe for the next day. And as you get good at it, it will go on and on, because the way you treat someone you love unconditionally and the way you treat an enemy are two different things. Not only do we change how we experience our inner world, we start to change how we act in and experience the outer world.
When someone comes at me with hate in their heart and I react with more hate, they will react with more hate. If someone comes at me with hate in their heart and I react with love, they can only react with hate for so long before their heart melts.
Start with yourself
Take this as food for thought as you move into your practice. We start with ourselves. If you’re making yourself into an enemy, let’s instead have no enmity toward anyone, including ourselves. Create space for forgiveness, compassion and love as you set your intention.
Someone doing something bad to you should not be the reason you don’t feel peaceful inside. We shouldn’t give anybody else that much power, or permission to take away our bliss. Haters are going to hate! But you get to choose, in every moment.
