“The one thing that surprised me the most was that people in my life needed me to be okay.”
Here we are with a firm footing in spring. The trees and plants have begun to bud and flower. New life arrives in ducklings, goslings and all kinds of baby birds and animals. Birth and rebirth surround us, reminding us to revisit and revise our lives as the new season begins.
Your own sadhana
Each of us has our own way through life, our own sadhana, or personal practice, whether it’s a spiritual practice or simply our way in the world. We have our own ebb and flow. Perhaps every morning you practice yoga or meditate, go for a run or ride your bike around the neighborhood. Or perhaps something quieter: a cup of tea and the newspaper, a moment of peace before the train, the commute or the school carpool.
Then one day there is a shift, slight or powerful, that pushes you out of your rhythm and forces you to reexamine your role in your own life. It could be losing a job, a death, a divorce, a breakup, or anything, minor or major, that brings change. You have two choices: flow with the change, or push against it. Pushing against it is far from productive, and it harms your spiritual and mental well-being.
Everyone needed me to be OK
When I lost my job, it was a huge shift. My whole world turned around. What surprised me most was that the people in my life needed me to be OK. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. It was an opportunity from the universe to change my world, even the push I had so desperately needed and wanted. (I had put that intention out there, and it was heard.) I knew I would be fine, but I needed time. People were so used to me being the strong one that they couldn’t handle me being the one in trouble.
Stand in the rubble
A line from the TV series Veronica Mars describes tragedy as a tornado that uproots everything: when the dust settles, you can live in the wreckage and pretend it’s still the mansion you remember, or crawl out of the rubble and slowly rebuild.
When the storm comes and tears the house apart around you, take a moment to stand in the rubble. You can’t live in the wreckage, but you can’t ignore it as if it never happened, either. And don’t let others take that experience from you. People need you to feel fine because they need to feel safe. They are afraid of change. It has nothing to do with you. You can embrace the challenge, and even rebuild with the dust of the old still on your shoulders. Be comfortable in your own voice, and never let anyone rob you of your experience.
Bloom again
As in nature, we need time to hibernate and heal. We will come back stronger and bloom more beautifully than before. We will have a new sadhana, a new way of life, which will keep evolving as we do. And if we keep meeting each storm with openness, our growth will be continuous.
