Dear Revolution Community,
My students often ask what the yogis say about love.
And with February and Valentine’s Day, naturally we turn our attention there. But what people are usually really asking about isn’t just love, it is relationship.
How do I find the love of my life?
How do I attract my soulmate?
How do I build a healthy partnership?
Why do I keep attracting the same patterns?
How do I maintain happiness in my connections?
Relationships hold tremendous weight in our lives: romantic, familial, professional, and spiritual. So what does yoga actually teach about them?
You’ve probably heard the phrase: You attract what you are.
But this saying is often misunderstood, because most people don’t truly understand what they are.
We are complex energetic beings inhabiting a body and mind that are inherently dualistic. Where there is light there is dark. Where there is expansion, there is contraction. Polarity exists within us. In our nervous system, our psyche, our tissues and in our energy.
Just like a magnet, opposite poles attract. But what we often see is not “healthy opposites” coming together. We see imbalances attracting complementary imbalances.
When two people are balanced within their own polarity (when they walk the middle way) they attract others who walk that same middle path. And from that place a healthy, nutritive relationship is born. With your spouse, children, friends, coworkers, your boss, even yourself.
Each center of our personality has overactive and underactive qualities when not balanced.
When people hear “you attract what you are,” they assume they simply need to become the nicest, kindest, beautiful, most optimized, successful, most accommodating person in the room.
But what happens when kindness is out of balance? When it becomes self-abandonment? Or when ambition becomes so overactive that it harms others in pursuit of power?
Yoga teaches that balance comes through understanding polarity so one may find its center.
In the subtle body Yoga teaches that Ida (the lunar channel representing rest, receptivity, nourishment, turning inward, parasympathetic nervous system).
And Pingala (the solar channel representing action, vitality, creativity, outward expression, sympathetic nervous system).
When these two are balanced, the central channel Sushumna awakens - this is where clarity, intuition, balanced personality and a steady, healthy love arise.
So this path is not about being endlessly kind or endlessly driven, it is about balance.
Balanced compassion: for others and yourself.
Balanced stability: without hoarding or harming.
Balanced sensuality and creativity: without repression or excess
Balanced love: neither controlling nor avoidant.
Balanced truth: neither oversharing or silencing yourself.
Balanced awareness: not ruminating in the past or fearing the future but seeing what is clearly here and now.
As we cultivate this inner equilibrium, relationships become mirrors rather than battlegrounds. Instead of asking “What is wrong with them?” We begin asking “What is this showing me about myself?”
From that awareness, we grow, heal and thrive.
And this is exactly what the whole of yoga trains us to do. Every time you step onto your mat, you are balancing these polar forces within yourself. Through breathwork, meditation, journaling and study.
All of it guides you towards that natural center point. When inner alignment stabilizes, your outer world begins to reflect it and you are able to love through a different lens, one that is less based on the conditions of the other and more based on your inner resonance with who you are (love).
Our work is to dismantle the dualities that inhibit us from experiencing the love that we are.
This month, notice the eyes through which you are looking. The cells that have changed since childhood and the witnessing awareness that has not.
That same conscious awareness lives in every being. The higher, yogic vision, is Samana (equal vision of all beings) seeing the loving awareness within each person as something far greater than the temporary duality of form.
Love everyone and tell the truth. For you are them, and they are you.
February at Revolution Yoga
This month we explore relationship in all its forms: with self, with others and with community.
Check out all of our wonderful offerings below, perfect for dates with friends, lovers and family, or a solo date with yourself.
Peace and Love,
Amanda and the good folks at Revolution Yoga
Originally shared in our February 2026 newsletter.